I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
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