Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
