Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
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