Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Randomize
