I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
