it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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