Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
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i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
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I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
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