Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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