Sry I called you an 8
He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Randomize
