You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Randomize
