you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
so let's talk penis.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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