You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
