we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
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