p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize