Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
she pinky promised me she was 18
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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