i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
