it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Randomize
