does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
