Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize