We won't sleep together?
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I am one with the molecules
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Randomize
