i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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