One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
