You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
