I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
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