it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Randomize
