Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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