So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I want a musical about memes.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
