Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
