A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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