i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
