i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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