just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
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