I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
He's on the porch naked. Help.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
