So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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