I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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