You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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