Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Randomize
