508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Randomize
