How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize