Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
What a dumb baby whore.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize