she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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