There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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