If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
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