I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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