Banned from zoo.
Again?
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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