he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
