Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
