"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
