this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
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