Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I just want nice things and good sex
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
