I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
