'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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