from now on my penis is your penis
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Randomize
