that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I have tasted many bathrooms
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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