one two three fourrrrnication!
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
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