Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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