so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Randomize
