I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Randomize
