I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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