He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Randomize
