I feel like abortions should bother me more
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize