I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
