Me too!
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
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