The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize